Sunday, January 10, 2010
Inside my room...
i have too many emotions to keep in this small room. the drawer is full of pain, its apart of everyday like and i know it but i try to hide it there. under the rug crawling like the infectious parasite it is is my depression. at first look you cant see it its just a oval woven rug with patterns of blue and green. but a second closer look will reveal that it hides my sorrow, the tears i cry at night are soaked up in every fiber and the nightmares that come to me at night are spawned from the shadows it casts.inside my closet are my secretes of times I've never told anyone, the extent to which i lie to others is on the left hanging in the corner in the right is the jacket i use to hide from the world. its long and colorful has many pockets that hide excuses for my actions and that hide lies about my true nature. on the floor is a box of broken toys sealed up to never be played with again. the box itself is falling apart, torn edges and wet spots from when i carried it in from the rain , but that was back when the thought of piecing the toys back together was available. if i knew then what i knew now i would have left that box of broken dreams and imagination out in the rain to rust and sog. on the walls hang the illusions and artwork of my past. in the center is the image of my mother father and sister, sitting at the park we are all happy and carefree. on the north wall is a picture of the dream i once held. its m family whole and in tact just as the toys once were. on the south wall hangs a shelf of my friends and a shrine of the one i love. though not all friends on the shelf are still in my life they will always remain in my heart. the shrine is dusty and hasn't been touched in a wile its standing like a crumbled silo at center of the corn followers. the walls themselves hold my morals ideas and opinions on life, a man is only as good as his word. the boy is as the man once was. the golden rule...i keep my love and affection closest to me at night so it can protect me from the nightly demons that creep in to attack my unguarded body. it sleeps till that special someone comes to wake it. once awaken it wont go to rest till it has been beaten and broken. my emotions are filling my room I'm only 18 and already the floor is flooded with sorrow love depression hate fear wonder acceptance remorse regret and pity. what is needed here is a place called lovers heart. their i can store some of these feelings. she and i will visit each others rooms often I'm sure , to help with the emotional mess we each have created with our time here on this earth. i can help her organize her room as we fung shwea' mine.
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